
I hope everyone who is stuck in this dynamic can get out The ghosting didn’t help his cause because the time away was helping me see things better, and he still tried to put me back in that cycle, but it didn’t work. I had a friend that saw what was going on it and she helped me understand what was happening, even though it was hard for me. It cost me a lot in my life, during that time. I started reacting angrily and that’s what he wanted. He had his own trauma so I kept making excuses for him, meanwhile, he would keep picking on my trauma, trying to get my PTSD reactions to the surface, even though I had it under control. Cycle repeated over and over again, which conditioned me to chase him for validation. He started ghosting me, then would come back around to show me affection and time. Would put me down and insult me, blame me for why he didn’t feel a certain way about me. When our relationship became physical, that’s when the games started. Played my support system throughout all of this, as if he was the only one who understood what I was going through. He knew I was being bullied and was recently struggling with PTSD and trauma. I wish you the best on your journey, just remember to clear ALL the weeds along your path so you can personally SEE when they’re trying to encroach again. But first forgive yourself and then then cut all ties and never look back. Boundaries, self love and self respect are the keys to preventing it. BUT STOP THINKING THAT WAY…these ppl just by default of what they lack are experts at foraging out those of us who’ve most likely experienced some sort of previously unrecognized trauma.esp childhood trauma, and they work very subtly.picking away at our defenses in a manner that even experts would struggle to sense in the beginning. 3, that somehow they became more important than your own children. 2, that your own sense of perception failed you. It’s hard to accept that 1, another person “controlled” you. I too have children that my relationships with range from still seeing, communicating with, and unfortunately to haven’t seen in 5yrs. Sometimes there are not enough words to put together that will satisfy the answer you seek.
